What is happening here?? Yesterday, after a good nights sleep, I slept almost the entire day away. Last night I went to bed and feel right to sleep. At 3 am I woke up and was unable to fall back soundly to sleep. At 5 am I gave up trying and got up. I feel OK and well rested, but will it last?
Or will I find myself dragging around half asleep before lunchtime. I can't stand sleeping all the time! Everyday I should be out there living and instead I am sleeping. I can't even enjoy a TV show anymore. I haven't seen the end of anything for weeks now.
I don't know what to expect from one day to another. Just sign me Frustrated.
Monday, April 27, 2009
Thursday, April 23, 2009
Social Security
Today I reached the end of my rope and began taking steps to apply for Diasbity Aide. I hate that I am having to do this, but feel like i am fighting a losing battle at this point. I am sleeping practically around the clock and my money has slowed to almost nothing. In my work time is literaly money. I am paid by the minute, and to make money I must be sitting at the computer and logged on.
I am finallya ccepting the fact that I am depressed after numerous friends have pointed it out to me. I have been in denial for awhile now. I just see no way to continue pushing myself into an honest days work.
The Prozac is making me very tired and I think that is leading to depression. Not exactly the cure I was looking for here. I will give it one more week and then I will call the doctor back to see what else can be done. I only know I can't go on this way.
I am finallya ccepting the fact that I am depressed after numerous friends have pointed it out to me. I have been in denial for awhile now. I just see no way to continue pushing myself into an honest days work.
The Prozac is making me very tired and I think that is leading to depression. Not exactly the cure I was looking for here. I will give it one more week and then I will call the doctor back to see what else can be done. I only know I can't go on this way.
Thursday, April 16, 2009
Prozac
Oh Dear Lord. I have struggled with this for four agonizing weeks. The doctor prescribed Prozac in hopes that it would help with my constant fatigue. I am not at a point in my life where I can retire and work was proving too much for me to handle.
At this point I am willing to try anything however, and promised my doctor that barring any serious reactions I would keep trying for the next 8 weeks.
The first week nothing changed. I was still tired. Nothing felt different. By the end of the second week I was sleeping 14 to 18 hours a day. When I wasn't sleeping I felt paralyzed. I was emotionally numb and felt "outside" of my body.
Now here I am. It's been a little over 4 weeks. I am awake. My napping time has dropped to an hour and a half a day. I can't say I am better, because i got so much worse that past few weeks, but I do have hope again. I am beginning to feel a little like myself again. I am writing and speaking and even laughing now and then.
I don't know if Prozac will provide me with the answer I need, but I have tried everything else. Last on the list is Ritalin. I plan to keep an update here, just to see if I notice any differences. Here's hoping.
At this point I am willing to try anything however, and promised my doctor that barring any serious reactions I would keep trying for the next 8 weeks.
The first week nothing changed. I was still tired. Nothing felt different. By the end of the second week I was sleeping 14 to 18 hours a day. When I wasn't sleeping I felt paralyzed. I was emotionally numb and felt "outside" of my body.
Now here I am. It's been a little over 4 weeks. I am awake. My napping time has dropped to an hour and a half a day. I can't say I am better, because i got so much worse that past few weeks, but I do have hope again. I am beginning to feel a little like myself again. I am writing and speaking and even laughing now and then.
I don't know if Prozac will provide me with the answer I need, but I have tried everything else. Last on the list is Ritalin. I plan to keep an update here, just to see if I notice any differences. Here's hoping.
Tuesday, April 14, 2009
Living With Myotonic Muscular Dystrophy
The main reason I speak out about Myotonic Muscular Dystrophy or MMD, is to bring it to the forefront of peoples minds. Little is known about this disease and few people have heard of it unless it has affected their family. If MMD is in your family linage it surrounds you. With an hereditary rate of 50/50 once it does strike a family it usually strikes hard. There is no cure for this multi systematic, genetic disease. Although it is a rare disease, it is the most common form of Muscular Dystrophy.
Talking about it is my way of doing something about it. I figure as long as I have it I may as well do something with it. I am unable to hide it, or pretend that it doesn't exist. It is very real, and it affects my life every single day. Research is being done for MMD constantly, yet the information we have about it will fit on a single piece of paper.
Myotonic Muscular Dystrophy can be broken down further into sub-types. Type I, type II type III (a relatively new discovery) and congenital. Congenital is of course the worse case scenario and it effects children. MMD type I is classic adult onset muscular disease. This is the type that affects me and my family. Some are affected more than others, but in almost all cases it is life shortening.
Muscle cramping, heart problems, breathing problems, extreme fatigue. cataracts, digestive problems, cognitive memory problems. These are just a few of the symptoms of MMD. I have had family members with most of the various symptoms, others have simply had early age cataracts and nothing more. Most of the symptoms can be treated to some degree as they come along, but the quality of life is defiantly affected. For me there is the extreme fatigue coupled with the general feeling of being unwell.
Never the less I try to make the most of my situation and my life. I can't fight MMD and the devastating affect it has on my family, but I can talk about it. I can help bring the disease and it's manifestations to the forefront of human awareness. I can teach people to think before they speak, and to understand that some illnesses and disabilities are not as easily recognizable as others.
Talking about it is my way of doing something about it. I figure as long as I have it I may as well do something with it. I am unable to hide it, or pretend that it doesn't exist. It is very real, and it affects my life every single day. Research is being done for MMD constantly, yet the information we have about it will fit on a single piece of paper.
Myotonic Muscular Dystrophy can be broken down further into sub-types. Type I, type II type III (a relatively new discovery) and congenital. Congenital is of course the worse case scenario and it effects children. MMD type I is classic adult onset muscular disease. This is the type that affects me and my family. Some are affected more than others, but in almost all cases it is life shortening.
Muscle cramping, heart problems, breathing problems, extreme fatigue. cataracts, digestive problems, cognitive memory problems. These are just a few of the symptoms of MMD. I have had family members with most of the various symptoms, others have simply had early age cataracts and nothing more. Most of the symptoms can be treated to some degree as they come along, but the quality of life is defiantly affected. For me there is the extreme fatigue coupled with the general feeling of being unwell.
Never the less I try to make the most of my situation and my life. I can't fight MMD and the devastating affect it has on my family, but I can talk about it. I can help bring the disease and it's manifestations to the forefront of human awareness. I can teach people to think before they speak, and to understand that some illnesses and disabilities are not as easily recognizable as others.
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